i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
