Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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