Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
