I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
