brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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