Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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