is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
