Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
