I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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