A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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