Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend