Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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