I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
