Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
