Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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