Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
