Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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