I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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