She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
