what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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