What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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