Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
