Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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