I hate all girls vehemently.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have feelings that need drinking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
