he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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