we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
