i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
