we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
