OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
