Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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