Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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