You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
