We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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