I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
