i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize