Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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