All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
