I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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