evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz