It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?