Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it