I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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