How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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