Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
