at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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