i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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