I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
