...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
