How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
