C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
