if i died would you start the facebook group?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
