my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize