I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
