he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
