So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
