Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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