Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
