apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
