And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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