When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
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I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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