He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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