you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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