so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
